My BIG gem on effectiveness

Creating calm urgency for my most important priorities

"You’re going on a grief walk?", my husband Dave asked me, looking confused. "What kind of hike is that?"

It’s not a hike honey. I’m not the one walking. We’re going to watch Stephen Jenkinson’s film – he’s known as The Griefwalker for the work he does with people who are dying and those left to grieve.

And off we went – my dear friend Cheryl and I – on October 29, 2009. I was going to support her in grieving the loss of her husband. This wasn’t for me. It was for her. It wasn’t about me becoming more effective in work or life. It was for her. Or so I thought.

That’s what I love about BIG gems. They shine up at us from the strangest of places.

After viewing the documentary made about his work (which I bought on DVD from Stephen’s lovely wife Natalie) Stephen spoke about dying well…and living well. He shared that his ultimate goal in living well is not finding happiness; it’s embracing the fullness of time. Fully embracing the great moments and the crummy moments. Deep presence with all of them.

And he certainly emulates that presence. Stephen speaks and moves with calm urgency. That’s the best way I can describe it: calm urgency. Calm because it’s based on his most valued priorities which he believes confidently in. And urgency because each task is truly important and he may not have weeks or months to do those things: today is IT.

This juxtaposed against how I move and speak when I’m in busy-mode. In that mode I'm consumed by a list of WHAT I need to do. On those rare occasions when I slow my mind down enough to be present, I focus on HOW I’m doing what I do. Stephen lives permanently in that HOW state.

Since meeting Stephen over 2 months ago I’ve shifted. This BIG gem changed how I awake each morning. In fact, 4 days after seeing Stephen present, my daughter Sarah turned 2 years old. Just as I’d done with her older brother Isaac, I helped her paint a few canvases. They are child-like scribbles and they are beautiful! I printed these words on the paintings so I could awake each morning looking at them: I’m grateful…for the fullness of time. I’m alive! Today is IT.

When I see the words “I’m alive!” I sing it just like Celine Dion (Yes, she’s a guilty pleasure of mine. Celine Dion’s powerful voice moves me). In fact at 11:06pm last night I was rockin’ out to her YouTube video in my office: dancing, high-kicking, the works!

I’ve been reciting those words (today is IT) for the past 2 months. And it really has created calm urgency for me. It’s driven me to choose WHAT I will do with greater care. And more importantly it’s shifted HOW I do what I do. Less angst and more focus. When it’s time to phone clients for prospecting calls, I sit down and phone. When my son asks me to play hockey, I stop the household chore and pick up my goalie stick. When I feel my neck and back kinking up, I hop on the treadmill to run for 10 minutes. That’s on the 4 days out of 7 when I live with calm urgency. The other 3 days I’m still working on it!

So what does this mean for how effective you are in work and life?

Perhaps it means you can NOT wait to make that client call. You can NOT wait to finish that project. You can NOT wait to say kind words to your staff or friends. Because today is IT.

What’s the one most important thing you MUST do today? And HOW are you going to do it? Must you be patient, or kind, or persistent or bold? Choose one. Focus on one. Act on one. Just one BIG gem.

In the process, may you create calm urgency for your most important goals and priorities this year.

Happy 2010!
Rhonda
the BIG gem speaker

Email: Info@RhondaVictoor.com 
Phone: 250-712-0085
Web: www.RhondaVictoor.com
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